Light, Standard, or Heavy, Oh My! Light, Standard, or Heavy, Oh My!
After over-analyzing the varying stainless steel table offerings, I settled on one variety and ordered three–one 4 foot, one 5 foot, and one 8 foot. The 4 and 5 foot tables shipped by FedEx. Each table was under the FedEx weight limit, just barely (poor FedEx guy). The 8 foot table shipped through a freight carrier.
The two FedEx deliveries arrived quickly. On opening the boxes, the 5 foot table top went to a local metal fabricator to have a sink hole cut in it. I suppose I could have gone to Florida for a sink hole, but this guy was nearby.
We arrived there about 3:00 pm. After explaining what we wanted, his only question was, “You don’t want it today, do you?” He relaxed quite a bit after I said, “No, we don’t need it until next weekend.”
Real Men Don’t Need No Instructions!
Having delivered the larger table top to the metal shop, we started assembling the remaining table. After reading the instructions, we promptly threw them away and did it our way. “It’s only a top, a shelf, and four legs,” says I. “What can be so hard about that?
About half way through, I suddenly had a vision of monkeys and footballs.
Eventually, we got it together–assembling the table, I mean. Let’s just say a rubber mallet was involved (where none was needed, by the way).
Where, Oh Where Has My Little Table Gone? Where, Oh Where Can It Be?
After our encounter with the 4 foot table, and the added joy of struggling to get a folding 8 foot table out of the trailer, we decided the prudent thing to do would be to assemble the unbending, fixed leg, steel, 8-foot table in the trailer.
Recall that the 8 foot table was shipping by truck. Being the paranoid nerd that I am, I called the freight company handling it. After the obligatory, “Please stay on the line, your call is very important to us,” a human answered. On stating that I was tracing my bill of lading, and giving her the BOL number, she informed me it was on its way from Charlotte, NC. No worries. . . . When I asked where it was, she paused for a lookup, and blithely told me it was in Nebraska. “But it’s supposed to be shipped to North Carolina,” said I, panicking. “Oh yeah,” she said. Then the line went dead.
About 30 minutes later, the freight company service rep called me and said their power had gone out in the middle of our conversation. The only thing she had time to write down was my phone number. As it turned out, she had mis-typed the BOL number during our first encounter. The table was really in North Carolina.
One more phone call and I found out the table was about 20 miles away.
At 9 o’clock the next morning, an eighteen-wheeler with a lift-gate appeared at my front door, and disgorged a palletized 8 foot, “easily assembled,” table.
The Walls Are Closing In
After our encounter with the 4 foot table, we had learned the proper way to assemble these tables. But, did I mention the inside of the trailer is just 8 feet wide (at the walls, not the windows–flashing and all that technical stuff) and 10 feet long? The width of the trailer means the wheel wells are on the inside. So, it’s up and over the wheel wells to the back wall, in a space just wide enough for the table. Struggle, lift, tilt, top first, no, struggle more, lift again, pull out, tilt, legs first, bang, bang, thump!!
Just sayin’, the 8 foot table ain’t coming out without a fight.
To Cut, Or Not To Cut; That Was the Question
We had already assembled the 4 foot table outside the trailer, and were ready to put it inside.
One of the concerns we had when we purchased the short tables was whether we would have to cut one of the legs off so the tables would play nicely with the wheel wells. Well, (yes, a play with words) one of the brighter decisions I made was to procure tables that were 24 inches wide rather than 30. Prevagen was working that day! None of the legs required cutting. Put on the feet flanges–remember to put the flanges toward the center of the trailer–and voila, a second table installed.
Run down to the metal shop, pick up the table top with the sink hole, slide the legs with the feet flanges (remember to put the flanges on the proper side so that the sink is not between two tables) through the mounting holes in the shelf, attach the top, and voila, a third table.
Screw ’em — Down, that is
(And you thought I meant sarcastic abandonment to their own devices)
Remember, this is a trailer–movement and vibration is the central element of the game while traveling to and from events. Whatever can move will move! And badly!
The front legs of the two side tables have flanged feet to screw them to the deck. Done! So much for lateral and longitudinal movement. All we had to worry about now was two short tables tipping over after one of the trailer wheels hit a pothole.
Easy enough fix; simply screw the table to a wall through the table skirt. Did I mention the tables are 16-gauge stainless steel, plus we hope to screw them into one of the steel studs that make up the trailer’s frame. Add to that the table’s width of 24 inches, and we’re drilling under the table top, and the fact we cannot see the rear table skirt unless we bend over at the waist. Pain was involved.
Two drill bits later we finally put a screw through the skirt of each table and into the frame. The tables will not tip, now.
Stuff Left to Do
There is still a lot left to do to make the trailer the stuff of dreams instead of nightmares; shelves, ceiling insulation, additional electrical outlets, tiedowns, more tiedowns, and AC.
It’s now do an event, use the income to upgrade the trailer, do another event, use the income to upgrade the trailer, rinse and repeat. Eventually, the checklist will be complete.